


Pirate Shenanigans

by BardsAmbrosia



Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, I'm lazy, Implied Sexual Content, Just Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romantic Fluff, Sloppy Makeouts, Some Plot, sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-14 05:40:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5731468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardsAmbrosia/pseuds/BardsAmbrosia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Idk y'all</p></blockquote>





	1. Basil

It was a cold night. You stood outside the stone castle like mansion of sorts, staring up into the clear night sky. Thousands of stars cluttered like glitter on a black sheet of paper. The sound of the ocean as loud as the calming scent of it was strong and clear. The music and chatter muffled from behind the thick walls of the fortess. A party of sorts was being held for the town that you were told was done once a year. A party where anyone from noble to street dweller could mix and socialize.

 

You were not here for a party, just a bounty. The bounty desired was last and recently seen here. Your fists clenched, the storm in your veins taking you by the reins. You wanted that money. Although, the target wouldn't just make this easy. The place was crowded to the brim surely and you weren't just a blood thirsty, money grubbing vagabond.

 

You were a money grubbing vagabond with class.

 

You wear a light grey trench coat, open, showing a clean white blouse and matching light grey shorts, with white laced up boots with a wedge on the bottom. You had to clean up abit to come here. You didn't want to stick out.

 

The doors are of course unlocked to all, a few guards lining the walls and the place is quite beautiful to behold. Also, alot of food and tables. And perhaps too many people for your liking right now. You can not spot who you are looking for yet.

 

"PLEASE, sir! Me next!" A feminine voice yells out over a aray of soft and coy incoherent voices, almost squeaky and of noble origin. You turn your head to the commotion to see many colorful gowns, pretty hair styles and the small portions of fair bare skin.

 

As you make your away past and around party-goers, you see a small portion of blonde hair and a familiar tattooed face. The familiar feelings of butterflies and a racing heart brings back the storm in your veins as you grow nearer. There's a line to your bounty. The _pirate_ has cards in mid air with thin roots coming from his person. The people are eating it all up along with his fortunes instead of being fearful. This place is strange. But they seem to not know he's a criminal.

 

A frown lines his face as he looks over his card(s) while a girl sits in front, friends dangling close by in wonder as he begins to speak.

 

"You'll have five children, two will be twins. You'll marry when you least expect it. You'll be very happy." He predicted without emotion. Unbeknownst to everyone, he held back the fact that she would die from illness before any of her children reached their teenage years. But why ruin the mood?

 

The girl clapped her hands in joy and thanked him graciously before shuffling off with the skirt of her dress in her hands and friends following behind. The line moved up alot after they all left, only three people ahead. His eyes met yours for only a second before you felt that fire in your veins die down due to fearful nervousness.

 

How would you capture him in such a setting?

 

Surely a fight here would get people hurt or worse and get you arrested. Not like you would let that happen, but then you'd have a bounty on your head as well. You didn't think this through. You cursed yourself at the lack of preparation. And who were you kidding? You might need help to take him down anyways.

 

" _Next_." The voice was less than happy.

 

You looked up from your feet, torn away from your thoughts. Soon you forgot your train of thoughts as you locked eyes with Hawkins. "The cards don't say you have a earing problem." At this you give him an offended look as you fix to sit down. You didn't realize that he had said "next" three times prior to you paying attention. "Perhaps, plans gone wary."

 

Hawkins line of sight was lowered onto the cards in front of him as you silently gowered at him. "...I just want my fortune read."

 

He lets out a ' _Hmph_ ', accepting your excuse. "Of course."

 

The short moment of silence felt long as you waited to hear your fortune. "Tonight things will not go as planned and you'll find yourself in foreign territory." He predicted. This of course did not sit well with you.

 

"What do you mean?" You sounded more distressed than you liked.

 

 

Within four hours of alcoholic drinking on your part more so than his, genuine interest in talking, which leads to flirting, you hazely find yourself over the man you had previously stalked and hunted for weeks, in nothing but your boots.

 

Why just the boots?

 

Because ~~the cards said so~~ he thought they were sexy.

 

"Was that more than you bargained for?" He asks, calmly and evenly even though his chest heaves up and down, abit out of breath. A rare smirk lining his face as you keep yourself steady, hands on his chest. Thin root like strings are wrapped around your neck, threatening to choke you as they did prior to your nearing orgasm.

 

You might have answered if you could think up a response, your brain still needed oxygen.

 

The tremble of your body that was mostly felt through your hands was answer enough along with your dazed and well fucked facial expression. Basil traced his dangerous fingers right back to the ripe red marks on your thighs, and pressed the blunt tips of his digits into them as your body clenched around him once more.


	2. Killer

"I usually pee in the shower but since you're here, I won't."

 

"Seriously?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"I mean... you have to pee right now?"

 

"No, but I'm just saying. Wow, I must be pretty comfortable with you...to share that."

 

"Or just gross."

 

"Maybe I'll pee afterall."

 

"Don't you dare."

 

This conversation is obviously being held in the bathroom. You two are obviously in the shower and naked. One would imply that the mood is being ruined and this is a weird conversation to have before sexual intercourse, but this is a normal occurrence between you and the usually masked supernova. He's not really grossed out and you really enjoy trying to make him uncomfortable.

 

The water is hot and softly stabbing down on you both. His eyes are more obscured than ever, hair plastered down to the bridge of his nose. Not that it matters much, you've seen his face already. You're really too used to him to be mentally overtaken by his good looks.

 

His face cracks up into a mildly happy grin as he holds you by the hip and lifts your leg up to his waist, making you gasp as you almost slip. Nails dig into his forearm as you get back the little footing you have. "Really!?" Your heart is beating out of your chest.

 

"An eye for an eye."

 

"But I didn't pee."

 

"You brought it up, that's bad enough."

 

"Are you squeamish over that? Some pirate-- _oh-oh okay_! A heads up would be nice...!" You complain, breathless, shutting your eyes as you get use to the feeling of him being inside you so suddenly without preparation. You aren't use _that_ yet. "You work fast..." You let your face rest on his chest, not his shoulder because he's too tall for that kind of comfort in this position.

 

He chuckles, giving an experimental, slow thrust forward. "But I last long."

 

"Enough." You sigh. "You last long enough." 

 

Killer facades an annoyed frown, his next experimental thrust somewhat harder than before and it makes you let out an inaudible moan. "What are you trying to say?" He asks, but ultimately his question is ignored.

 

His movements are too slow even when you try to meet them. "Faster." 

 

"No." Request denied.

 

Although, he does you a favor and picks you up. By the grace of god, he doesn't slip and kill you both.

 

Even though the pace is slow, his thrusts are deep and you are able to feel the cushion of his lips against yours. Your noses bump into each other, causing you to flinch abit, alittle embarrassed. A low rumble sounds from his throat. He titles his head to the side slightly to rectify the sweet and clumsy mishap. "You're so cute.." You hear him mumble and tenderly mouth against your lips before giving you a real kiss.


	3. X Drake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk y'all

You were perverted woman, X Drake knew that.

 

He's known you since his days in the Navy. He knew you had alittle to no bountaries, even in combat. But he hadn't known you'd risk getting yourself brutally killed under his reptilian mass so easily. Really, he shouldn't have been surprised when you pulled your little stunt.

 

The epic fight is interrupted by the width of your tongue on his momentarily closed dino mouth.

 

The Supernova changes back immediately, quick to wipe off his lips with the back of his gloved fist. "Ugh, what the hell was that!?"

 

You laughed like a mad person, spayed out on the ground, kicking your legs, body trembling with hysterics. The dangerous pirate a few feet away, gritted his teeth and fisted his hands in annoyance. 

 

"I've always wanted to do that!" You shout, face changing color as it was hard to breathe. "....oh my god-- Drake, y-y--!!!" Your cackling cut you off, as oxygen was being cut off from your brain, it would be the death of you if not for him first.

 

X Drake angrily strolled over with his axe in hand. You still laughed, eyes tightly shut, arms around your sides, bellowing in a mix of insanity, glee and pain.

 

Once over you, he raised his axe high, a smirk playing on his lips for a short moment before his face was fixed back into a scowl, a twitch in his eye. A stupid little voice in his head telling him not to do it as he glared down at your blushing and happy, laughing, ~~cute~~ face.

 

He huffed, giving you one last heated look before walking away. You hadn't even noticed him leaving.

 

However, he wasn't quite done with you yet. 

 

He sent one of his crew members to throw a bucket of very cold sea water on you before setting sail.

 

Even though the act sent you into shock and shivers and gave you a cold not long after, it was a good thing that it happened because you almost died.

 

X Drake inadvertently saved your life.


	4. Eustass Kid

Eustass Kid was not the best person to joke with. 

 

He was so thin-skinned all the time and you loved to joke.

 

You also loved looking at him, you figured because you would always go out of your way to stare at him when you knew he was in the same room or in passing.

 

He hated it and the only thing stopping him from grabbing you up and screaming in your face was Killer, his second in command, his handler, as you sometimes think of him as. Sometimes you dare call him that in even Kid's presence.

 

At first, you only liked looking just because you thought he looked interesting enough, not because of actual attraction. However, that changed over time. It wasn't your fault, you are human after all.

 

And so was Killer.

 

That's why you were held up against the wall by the scruff of your blouse, toes no where near the ground with the warm breath of Eustass Kid on your face.

 

Killer took some time for himself, quite the workaholic on the ship. He was human and so, everyone makes mistakes. This had to be a mistake because he trusted you wouldn't piss off Kid after the serious and short talk you both had last week on the port.

 

What a world.

 

And what a interesting turn of events.

 

"What the _fuck_ did you just ask me?" It came out as a hissing whisper, you could smell the grape wine on his breath. You couldn't help the smile twitching on your lips. Who would be scared of this guy?

 

Everyone but you.

 

Kid's glare only seemed to grow more heated with your lack of response and airy smile. "FUCKING ANSWER ME." He shook you abit, causing your head to hit the wall with a dull thud. You groaned, smile turning upside down.

 

"You don't have to be so rough, captain. All I asked was what the number is of that color of lipstick you're wearing. I can't tell if its #94 Russian Red or #96 Magma." However, since Killer most likely shopped for him, he'd most likely know. But since Kid appeared in your line of sight first, why not ask?

 

The Supernova stared at you, face quickly going blank, face becoming strained and relaxed in a few seconds. "How the hell should I know?" He says to you like you are stupid and should know better than to ask him. "Why? You need lipstick?" His fingers loosen ever so little but still hold you up.

 

"Well...yeah, I mean...I'm a girl." That's the best explanation you can muster up at the moment. Eustass looks satisfied with your answer but not satisfied enough to put you the fuck down already.

 

He frowns alittle. "Well, since you are a faithful and loyal member of this crew, I guess I could help ya out."

 

Okay, shocking. This is so unlike your captain. "Really?"

 

"Yup."

 

You like taking a yard instead of an inch. "Really, really?"

 

His eye lids lower and his mouth sets into a scowl. "....yes, really."

 

" _Really, really, really, rreeeeaaaaallly?_ " You sing. Kid looks like he's going to fucking murder you now, teeth bared and gritted down as he growls deep in his throat.

 

He moves his head and you predict a awful headbutt, but fortunately that isn't in your future.

 

Just a very hard kiss on the lips and the harsh bump of noses.

 

Even though your face throbbed with some pain and you could feel blood leak from one of your nostrils, his lips were like cushions and warm. You whimpered in desire and pain as he moved his head slightly to the side to deepen the kiss, his tongue reaching very corner inside your mouth. You passively french kiss him back, with hands that had started to fall asleep, grabbing the fur of his coat.

 

He finally pulls away, after a long moment. Lidded eyes looking over his craftsmanship. "...you got your lipstick." He chuckles breathlessly, he's actually joking with you for the first time.

 

You try catching your breath, face mystified. All it took was some tough love and a bleeding nose.

 

His lipstick is smeared alittle, having rubbed off on your lips. The blood coming from your nose helps too. "Red is really your color, doll." His grin is dangerous and this time you feel _lllliiiitttlllee_ scared.


End file.
